• Mostly lately, I just sit in the dark at 2: 00am and think about my life, and what it's become. I feel so alone, all my friends are falling in love, getting engaged, or having babies. While I'm still regrettably heartbroken from losing reace. I try to tell everyone I could never have feelings for him again, and that I don't want to be with him, while I don't want to be with him. But sometimes I find myself just in bliss by hearing his laugh, or seeing his bright smile. But then I remember all the awful things he did to me unknowingly. I remember being so irrevocably in love with him, and him feeling close to nothing. And then I remember losing our baby girl, that he will never know about. Because I know if I told him he wouldn't care anyways, he would see it as "dodging a bullet" while I see it as losing my beautiful baby girl that never got to walk on this earth. Sometimes I just can't even fathom how I let my life get to this point. I don't believe in love anymore, I don't believe in marriage, and I'm completely okay with being alone, I've become so comfortable with being rude, and ignoring men, I don't even know how to think about being in a relationship, let alone try and move on with one. It makes me crazy that I can watch my friends bounce in and out of relationships while I've been sitting her for almost 9 months, still trying to get over everything, still trying to let go..

religiousmom:

Still a little pissed I can’t fly or set things on fire with my mind

(via marshmellaaaa)